Sunday, December 16, 2012

Tip #51: Be there

We've had a hard week here in Connecticut. We live very close to Newtown. I'm sure for parent's of little children it must be even more emotional and difficult to make sense of such horrific events.

While looking for consolation, I found some quotes which I would like to share with you as this week's tip, as they all point to the same thing: We can only heal as a community, and it is the compassion within the community which will sustain us.

In BreneƩ Brown's blog Ordinary Courage, I found this wonderful quote from Mr. Rogers:
"When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, "Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping." To this day, especially in times of "disaster," I remember my mother's words and I am always comforted by realizing that there are still so many helpers – so many caring people in this world."
And then, by chance, as it tends to happen, I heard a wonderful radio program called  "On Being." The episode was titled "Presence in the Wild" with Kate Braestrup, a pastor who wrote Here If You Need Me.She works as a chaplain in Maine helping victims of search and rescue missions. And she was just saying the same thing as Mr. Rogers. It is the people that surround us in tragedy, the community, who will heal us. And often, we don't even know we have that support until tragedy strikes. I know so well from my own experience, how when I have needed support I have had so many people helping me, friends and colleagues, family members and neighbors, to whom I will be forever grateful. Exactly a year ago I had a big surgery and we had amazing people cooking for us, making sure our kids were OK, sustaining my spirit with their visits and love. And healing me in the process.

I think most of us have this net (although we may not know it) but we also have to remember to be the net to others. To keep reaching out, to be there to embrace the people who need to be embraced. Because this blog is geared towards health and happiness, we can remember that this compassion to others is indeed healthy to us too.

And let me finish with some words from Pope Benedict, who prayed that God "sustain the entire community with spiritual strength which triumphs over violence by the power of forgiveness, hope and reconciling love."  Let's all be together.


  1. Pilar - Thanks for this post. I read that book "Here if you need me" and loved it so when you mentioned it brought back a good memory...If you havent read it you should.

    Also - I love the candle in the picture - Is it yours?
    I have some catching up to do on your blogs but am so glad that all this great info is in one location. Big hug to you Pilie! xoholly

  2. Hi Holly,
    Thanks so much for your comment. It's great to know about that book.

    The candle is mine but I actually bought it when one of the ladies from our Mets Babes group mentioned that she had one like that and that she would light it when one of us needed it. I'm not sure who the lady was (this was when I first joined the group), but she mentioned that she bought it at so I looked for it and bought one for myself as I loved it so much. I just looked for it again, and they don'tt seem to have it anymore. What a pity!