Tip #47: Cultivate compassion (even to yourself)

As I have mentioned before, I have been watching, whenever possible, Rick Hanson's Compassionate Brain series. It is subtitled "Activating the Neural Circuits of Kindness, Caring, and Love. Practical Neuroscience for Transformation." In the series, Dr. Hanson interviews leading scientists and teachers from different fields on the topic of compassion, its origins, its characteristics and the transformative effects of its practice.

I'm a bit behind with the talks, but, thankfully,  they can be also watched on demand as well (the series is free, but you do have to sign up for it). So far, I have enjoyed everything I have watched, and today I will tell you about two of the talks which I thought were particularly fascinating.

The first one is by Dr. Dacher Keltner, professor of psychology at the University of California, Berkeley and author of Born to be Good: The Science of a Meaningful Life. He is also the creator of another wonderful website, Greater Good, the Science of a Meaningful Life, which has many resources (articles, videos etc.) about the topic. From his talk, I learned the following:

• Compassion is something innate to humans. Why? Wouldn't it be better if we were all nasty to each other, winner takes all, mentality? Well, no, because we start as extremely vulnerable babies, who could not survive if the adults around them didn't feel compassion for them. He pointed out that, as species, we are the only ones who take such a long time to be able to defend ourselves on our own. 
• Kindness turned out to be the number one characteristics that people all over the world, in many different cultures, chose as their number one characteristic they look for in a mate. Not beauty or money or strength.

The second one is Dr. Kristin Neff's talk, called "The power of self-compassion." She wrote Self-Compassion: Stop Beating Yourself up and Leave your Insecurities behind.(I wish I had time to read all these books!). She talked about how, in our society, we have elevated the concept of self-esteem, but that this always involves being better than somebody else, and thus, it becomes a source of anguish and frustration, because this is just not possible. By comparison, cultivating self-compassion will allow you to move on with life in a more gentle, caring, and better way. She did emphasize that self-compassion is not to be confused with indulgence, but that we should talk to ourselves as a loving parent would talk to a child who has failed an exam, for example. You wouldn't tell your child, "you are such a loser!"(hopefully), but would try to encourage him to not let this defeat bring him down. Her talk did remind me about the ideas I had outlined in the post about perfection not being the goal, but it may also be another way to look at the same problem. We all have failings, or setbacks. It is part of a normal life. How we respond to them is what can really make the situation different. It is, in a way, my goal with my tips, my mental exercises as I call them. I do believe my life (and with it, my health and all my surroundings), will be better, it is already better, from these type of lessons which reaffirm and enlarge my own understanding of it.

Dr. Neff's website, Self Compassion, is also full of practical resources, including exercises, even physical ones (how to move your body in certain ways) to help you develop your own self-compassion. And she was also fascinating for another reason. She is the mother of an autistic child, and they are the protagonist in a documentary about how her son discovered by accident that he had a connection to horses, and how the whole family traveled to Mongolia to experience life with horses in nature (http://www.horseboymovie.com/). In the talk, she mentioned how she had used her own techniques of self-compassion in the (many) cases when his son would have public fits (like in long plane rides). It was, all in all, very moving.

Well, I manged to write much more than I thought.  But, I do believe that by being aware of these things we can really start to understand that we, as humans, do have to strive to be good, to each other and to ourselves, regardless what society or other forces may be telling us.

What do you think? As always, I'm amazed and thankful that anyone reads these tips and I hope you may want to share your thoughts. I actually discovered Dr. Hanson thanks to a comment by my friend Jennifer to my Tip #5. So wonderful!

Tip #46: Try fasting

So, what do you think? Let's NOT eat together? Well, why not? I have been interested in the idea of fasting as I would encounter many mentions of it when dealing with alternative methods to treat cancer. But lately, it is not just for alternative methods or only cancer. Here you can see how doctors in Utah found that regular fasting can boost heart health. Those who fasted for about a day a month had a 58% lower risk of coronary disease as those who didn't. And Dr. Weil, tells us in this article that intermittent fasting can indeed improve not only caridiovascular health, but also diabetes, cancer, Alzheimer, and improve cognition in general. Even my nutritionist recommends caloric restriction for certain patients, as there are many studies already associating this with better outcomes in cancer patients. And, there's a new book just published, Cancer as a Metabolic Disease, by Seyfried, PhD, a cancer researcher who worked at Yale University and is now Professor of Biology at Boston College, which reviews the literature on caloric restriction and its beneficial impacts on tumor growth. Here's an older article which summarizes the main points of the book.

I became a bit more interested in the topic after seeing this BBC documentary this summer, Eat, Fast & Live Longer. It is an hour long, but well worth it. Here's a summary, with commentary, if you don't have time to watch it all.



By the end of the show, Dr. Mosley, the guy that goes around looking for ways to implement fasting, decides to try the 5/2 diet plan: five days your normal consumption of food, and two days of only 500 calories for women, 600 for men. After trying for five or six weeks, many of his "aging" markers, like IGF-1, CRP, or blood sugar level, came down considerably, plus he lost some weight and felt better.

In the show, they also talk about a group of people in Ecuador, who are very small because they suffer from something called the Laron syndrome, but that, surprisingly, never develop cancer or diabetes. I had read about them in the New York Times last year, and I think they may hold the key to something very important.

In any case, this year I did something that I don't recommend anyone to do (please, please, please), but, after researching a bit more the 5/2 diet, I found that there is a doctor in Great Britain testing it to actually cut breast cancer occurrence in patients at higher risk. According to her, it could reduce the risk by 40%. So, at the beginning of October, because I knew that I had blood work coming four weeks later, I decided to try it without telling neither my doctors or nutritionist (or even my family, I guess I just came out). Well, my blood work was fantastic, particularly my HbA1c, which measures blood sugar control. It is the lowest I've had it, finally at the level my nutritionist recommends. My CRP, which measures inflammation, did not go down, but it also did not go up (it was quite low to start with), and I think it's also remarkable, as it tends to go up with medication and I've now been on treatment for close to two years. Of course, I don't know if the diet was the cause. I did stop it after the results came in. i\It was just an experiment that I may take again in the future, hopefully next time with some type of medical supervision. I lost a little bit of weight while on it, but not much, maybe two or three pounds, and it was not too hard to do.

But, I also wanted to share something else in this blog post. My husband mentioned that somebody in his work were doing a 48 hour weekend cleanse, recommended by Dr. Oz. I went to check it out, and I really like it, and I think that may be also something I try to do, maybe once every two months or so. Here's the link. Maybe after Thanksgiving could be the ideal time. :)

Do you fast regularly? Any recommendations?

Tip #45: Give dry brushing a try

 

Let me start by saying that I hope everyone is safe and sound after Hurricane Sandy. I feel extremely grateful, as not only we were fine, but I got many e-mails and calls from friends all over the world who  made me realize once more how loved we are. Thanks, everyone. You are truly amazing.

And now, to this week's tip. Through the book Crazy. Sexy, Diet, I learned about dry brushing and although it is not something that I do often (maybe twice or three times a week), I do notice some differences in my skin (it is softer and less dry), so that's why I thought I would pass along the tip. In addition, it is supposed to help with your lymph system (there's more information about that in the video below), something I definitely cannot prove, but I feel that it's important enough. Some people say it also helps with cellulite or weight loss. That, I just don't think it is true, but let me know if it happens to you!  

The way I do it, is this. Right before my shower, I put on the gloves (in the picture. I bought them at WholeFoods) and I start massaging my feet, all the way up to my neck, dividing my body in chunks, as explained in the video. It does feel great, particularly when I get to the neck area (remember not to dry brush your face!) and I think this is mainly because it is a massage, even if it is yourself doing it and not a professional masseuse. It only takes me about five minutes, so this is not a time consuming activity. I honestly forget to do it more often, but I always remember how wonderful it feels when I do it, and even after one time doing it, I can notice a difference in my skin. 

Here's the video, from my beloved Greensmoothie Girl herself. I hope you enjoy it and find it beneficial as well.

 

And I also have two unrelated notes that I thought may interest you:

• Deepak Chopra is offering a free 21 day meditation challenge which starts tomorrow. You can sign up for it here. I actually have tried his meditation challenges before, and although I didn't finish them, I found them soothing the days I got to them.
• Gym-Pact, the tool I have been using with great success to help me go to the gym, is offering a $5 bonus for you and $5 for me if you sign up. I honestly can say I love this app, especially since they added integration with RunKeeper, another app that tracks your outdoor activities as well. So far with them, I have made $70 and lost only $10.(And if you see me walking around my block on a Sunday night, you now know why). If you have a smartphone, I highly recommend this app. It definitely helps me with my fitness goals (if only there were a Gym-Pact for medtitation!). If you do sign up, my referral code is SkippPilar, so we both get the $5. Hey, and I'm going to throw a party if I do get lots of money. What do you think? Want to come over? 

Well, let me know what you think about all this. I always like to hear your thoughts.

Tip #44: Perfection is not the goal

So, the meditation challenge came and went and I did some but definitely not much. And I'm a bit upset about it, because I have done well in other personal challenges. I do have multiple excuses: much more homework to correct than last year, I'm doing yoga more often now, I do keep up with my walking and gym (that's definitely thanks to Gym-Pact), "leaf-catching"anyone? but still. I also did notice that, the days I meditated something else gave in, maybe the yoga, maybe the walking, maybe the green-smoothie. I have definitely not done any arm exercises in a long, long time. Those were the first to go (can you tell I kind of didn't really like those?).

But, although I'm upset as I said, I'm going to try to not beat myself about it. Today I was listening to Dr. Dan Siegel, in a talk part of a series called The Compassionate Brain: Activating the Neural Circuits of Kindness, Caring, and Love. Practical Neuroscience for Transformation, and he mentioned as an example someone who hurts himself in the foot and reacts by cursing himself for being so clumsy and stupid. He said that instead, that person would have to look at the situation from outside and tell himself, "It hurts, I feel the physical pain, I have been clumsy but maybe I can learn not to do this again. But I'm human, it is not that important. I can go on." Easier said than done, but he also mentioned several other mental exercises one can do to train your brain to think this way. Considering I don't feel right now like I have so much time for meditation, I guess, I'm not going to do his exercises either, but I did learn something already: it's definitely OK to do as little or as much as I can. I will continue trying to mediate, this time without a challenge. Maybe I can do it three times a week. That will be fine. Those of you who know me (probably all, thank you so much for reading!) I'm sure are thinking, "But, of course, you do so much already!!," but we just cannot see what we do, we keep beating ourselves up because we feel we are inadequate in so many ways. Dr. Siegel also talked about how society makes us geared for competition, rather than collaboration, and I feel maybe sometimes it is a competition within yourself. We want to be perfect. We need to be cured. But perfection is overvalued and a cure means really little. Are you fine now? Right this moment? Yes, you are. That's all that really matters.

So, I found that lovely quote from Leonard Cohen's song Anthem, and I'm going to try to remember it the days I don't get to do everything I had on my long list for the day. Another crack. But how beautiful is the light that goes through it.

Any other tips for me? I love your comments.

Tip #43: Go "leaf-catching"

Leaf-Catching

This tip goes into the category of super silly tips, but I definitely need those as well.

Last year I learned about this British custom: if you are walking outside and see a leaf falling, try to catch it. If you do, you can make a wish. Well, as soon as I found out about this, I've been trying to do just that. And I have to say this is what I have observed: 1) It's quite difficult. 2) You have to move quite a lot. 3) You end up laughing really hard at the whole silliness of it.

And if you don't live in an area with  falling leaves, you can still make other fun wish-asking activities, like when you see the first star at night, or you find a penny on the floor, even when an eyelash falls out (which needs to be blown away as you make your wish). Do you know any others? The truth is, it doesn't even matter so much what we wish for, but we do get a moment of suspended disbelief, of magical thinking (and acting), of laughter and lightness, and all that has to be good for your happiness and therefore for good health, right?

This post is dedicated to Kate and Elaine who already heard this tip before this blog was even created and they actually liked it. It is really wonderful to have good friends. :)

Tip #42: Avoid plastics

From this summer vacation: my sister and my son and the glass water bottle I refilled everyday.

Another super busy week, so I'm just going to write very little, give some information to read, and then you can decide for yourself.

I'm sure you all have been hearing about the dangers of BPA, an organic compound found in some hard plastics. Although it's been used for more than 40 years, it is only recently that people are starting to be aware of its dangers (A hard plastic is raising hard questions - New York Times, 2008).

But it is not only BPA. There are other compounds in plastic, like phthalates that have similar effects on our bodies. They mimic certain hormones and disrupt our natural ones. Many cancers are associated with disruption in hormones, such as breast and prostate cancers, so this is quite worrisome.

So, although it is very difficult to avoid all plastics, there are still ways to minimize their use. I now try to not drink out of plastic bottles, and instead I got a glass refillable bottle, where I put my daily tea when I go out. We also have phased out any plastic containers in the kitchen and replaced them with glass.

Here are some articles that talk precisely about using plastic water bottles, sometimes more than once:

• Side effects and dangers of refilling water bottles. Livestrong.com
• Plastic bottles raise hormonal activity of bottled spring water. Environmental Health News
• Hormone-mimics in water bottles acts as functional estrogens. Science Daily

I don't want to spread fear mongering here. But we do need to understand that, unfortunately, we all have to do our own research and decide for ourselves, because just trusting companies or the government will not really protect us. (If you do read one of the links in this post, please make it this one: The Cancer Lobby, by N. Kistof, New York Times. It is not exactly about the compounds I'm mentioning here, but the story is the same).

And here's a short video with Dr. Frank Lipman and Kyra Sedgwick talking more about the dangers of plastics.

Do you have any more recommendations as to how we can replace plastic in our lives? As always, looking forward to your comments and thanks so much for reading!

Tip #41: Connect and learn from others

I learned recently that humans have been able to progress much more than other species because of something termed "cumulative culture" which enables us to build better and bigger things. This accumulation is generated because we are capable to share and learn from each other, and create an end product that no one alone could have devised. In a curious experiment, a group of children (three and four year old) were compared to chimpanzees and capuchin monkeys. They all had to find the solution to a puzzle box. The children were the only ones who were able to solve the puzzle, and the scientists observed that this was because they cooperated, they learned from each other and even shared their rewards. The animals never shared or cooperated and, thus, could not find the solution.

I also read that in our brains we have "mirror neurons," which help us read other peoples feelings and actions. Some scientists also think these neurons are responsible not only for empathy, but maybe also for language. In any case, it seems clear that being connected to others is an essential part of being human.

And I'm telling you all this because of my own experience with groups. If any one reading this is diagnosed with any type of disease, I really encourage you to look both online and offline for groups of people with similar circumstances. I have already mentioned my group "Metastatic Breast Cancer Babes," but I just need to keep saying how much I have learned and still learn from them. It is not just "support," which they also have provided. Through them I have learned about many of the tips I talk about in here. It would have been impossible for me to research everything I have learned with them. Not only that. It is like the children in the experiment. In the group you even learn things you didn't know you had to learn, but this is because the ladies are always sharing and willing to help. It is the same with my yoga for cancer patients group (my offline group).

These people have become my friends now, of course, but I think your regular friends also have an incredible important role in your life, but in a different way. We do need both. We are hard-wired for connection. We cannot do it alone. The more the merrier. And that's why I love you all and thank you all, because I truly need you all.


photo credit: woodleywonderworks via photopin cc